Lewis County Herald - Serving Hohenwald, Lewis County Tennessee Since 1898

Articles from the 'Tyrades' series

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Tyrades! So, Did I Mention My 30th Wedding Anniversary?

“I could search the whole world over/Until my life is through/But I know I’ll never find another you.” -as performed by The Seekers. Five years ago, in conjunction with my 25th wedding anniversary, I was halfway finished writing a 40,000-word...

 

Tyrades! What Was Your Favorite Summer Job?

With the school year ending and the economy slowly reopening, let’s reminisce about the illustrious history of summer jobs. I’m sure many of you worked your way through high school and college by flipping burgers, mowing lawns, performing...

 

Tyrades! Would the Class of 2021 Like Some Unsolicited Advice?

By the time most of you read this, my son Gideon will have marched across the gymnasium floor and received his high school diploma. I have brainstormed some sage advice for Gideon’s next phase and hope that his fellow grads nationwide can benefit....

 

Tyrades! Ever Have A Near-Death Experience?

My late father once confided his belief in “universal knowledge.” He felt that God gave humans finite, physical brains to prevent them from knowing EVERYTHING. That theme is echoed in the book I’m currently reading: “Forever,” by Bruce...

 

Tyrades! Are You Still Procrastinating About Income Tax?

Misery loves company, but it’s cold comfort that many of you – like me -- still haven’t filed your 2020 income tax returns. (And I’m aware others of you had already pre-spent your refund SIX MONTHS AGO, but come on, dude. When you announce,...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    May 6, 2021

Tyrades! How About Celebrating History's Unsung Mothers?

Since you asked, my niece Claire is expecting her first baby in August. Her sister Emma is expecting her second child in October. I have faith that both young ladies will someday earn a spot in a Hall of Fame for Mothers. Alas, history is littered...

 

Tyrades! Does Wit Have A Future?

As graduation looms, my son Gideon has been named both salutatorian and Wittiest Boy of the Cornersville (TN) High School Class of 2021. (I myself did well academically “back in the day” –which even then was about 15 years after the hoary...

 

Tyrades! Can We Possibly Laugh About Seasonal Allergies?

Tree HUGGERS, are you contemplating a Zoom meeting with Mr. Elm instead? Yes, this is dedicated to the millions of you who share my susceptibility to seasonal allergies. (SEASONAL allergies? Yes, “When is allergy season?” is a popular Google...

 

Tyrades! May I Sing the Housing Subdivision Blues?

My wife and I would never have met, except that her family fled a densely populated state when she was 11. Given her satisfaction with the simple life (deer in the yard, the neighbors’ ponds and livestock across the road), I dreaded sharing...

 

Tyrades! Can You Handle the Truth about Easter Trivia?

There was certainly nothing trivial about the events of that first Easter Sunday, but that hasn’t stopped magazines from cranking out baskets of Easter trivia year after year. Admittedly, magazine writers are trapped on a hamster wheel of...

 

Tyrades! Aggravation: Is It A Board Game or a Way of Life?

First off, Louis Armstrong was right about it being a wonderful world. And I realize many people suffer far worse troubles than mine. But still…I would die of shock if I ever experienced 10 consecutive minutes of comfort, serenity and dignity. (Oka...

 

Tyrades! Do You Find Saint Patrick's Day Troubling?

“My father and mother were Irish, and I am Irish, too.” As Saint Patrick’s Day approaches, I keep remembering that song from our third-grade music book, which strove to examine music from an international perspective (WITHOUT a “Monty Python...

 

Tyrades! Have You Remembered Your Pets in Your Will?

Sure, it made the rounds of the “News of the Weird” columns when a Nashville businessman left $5 million in a trust fund for his beloved border collie Lulu; but such gestures aren’t as eccentric as you might think. Many estate plan experts now...

 

Tyrades! Product Recall Notices: Friend or Foe?

The relentless airbag recall notices concerning my mother’s old truck have progressed from a mailbox-clogging nuisance to a grim reminder that our unresponsiveness has felled more trees than Paul Bunyan in his prime. Okay, I realize more consumers...

 

Tyrades! What Shall We Say About Grandmothers?

Yes, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since February 20, 1971 – but it’s still hard to believe that Granny Tyree (my father’s mother) has been gone for 50 years. Oh, I shouldn’t have been caught off-guard. All the joys, sorrows,...

 

Tyrades! What Will Presidents' Day Be Like In 50 Years?

Presidents’ Day 2021 may still be fresh on your mind, but be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor president or the first bathtub in the White House, just think...

 

Tyrades! Valentine Dilemma: "Baby," You're Not the Greatest!

Although the bar has been set remarkably low during some epochs (“Dearest, you’ve survived to produce seven more viable male heirs than my second wife”), society has always expected couples to use terms of endearment to grease the wheels of...

 

Tyrades! Are You and Your Middle Name on Speaking Terms?

There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this nation took the bold bipartisan move of giving...

 

Tyrades! Ever Sing the College Brochure Blues?

It has been a bittersweet experience seeing the mailbox flooded with college recruiting brochures addressed to my son Gideon. Bittersweet because, speaking as a science fiction fan, each “road not taken” represents an alternate timeline...

 

Tyrades! Remember Learning to Drive?

My son Gideon certainly had a high-octane understanding of the THEORY of driving last winter. As far as the rubber meeting the road, not so much. My wife and I were relieved that he was enrolled in Drivers Education in high school, under the...

 

Tyrades! Don't Be A Meathead! Celebrate Archie Bunker's 50th Anniversary!

I spent Monday nights in the fall of 1975 breathlessly watching my favorite TV show. And I do mean breathlessly. That’s because I had to rush home from my afterschool job at a nearby convenience market and hope that I didn’t miss much more than...

 

Tyrades! Is Profanity in the Ear of the Beholder?

In case you (expletives deleted) missed the marketing campaign, on January 5 the noble public servants at Netflix will launch a six-episode series, “History of Swear Words,” hosted by actor Nicholas Cage. The “proudly profane” program will...

 

Tyrades! Can We Please Have the Right Kind of Christmas Sounds?

“Hello. I’m Grandpa.” For Christmas 50 years ago, my parents splurged and bought me a compact reel-to-reel tape recorder. My father had whetted my appetite with remarks that one could build a primitive voice recorder along the lines of Thomas...

 

Tyrades! Can You Guess Santa's Biggest Regrets?

We all know Santa Claus as a “right jolly old elf,” but the man carries a well-stocked bag of regrets. He recently sat down with me to list some of the ways he wished his life had gone differently. “I don’t regret the Island of Misfit Toys...

 

Tyrades! Can You Believe the Environmental Protection Agency Is 50?

It may be the sort of birthday where someone shouts, “50 candles blazing on the cake? Are you crazy? Why don’t we just fill a pinata with cow methane while we’re at it???” I’m speaking of the 50th anniversary of the Environmental...

 

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