Lewis County Herald - Serving Hohenwald, Lewis County Tennessee Since 1898

Articles from the 'Tyrades' series

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Tyrades! Do Gallup Poll respondents have a prayer?

You’ve probably seen the screaming headlines about a Gallup survey revealing that Americans’ belief in God has hit an all-time low. I’m not here to quibble with the atheists, agnostics and alternate-spirituality practitioners who answered the...

 

Tyrades! Should "eyes up here" be enforced?

“Did you know that your rear passenger tire is a little underinflated?” I harbor a grudging appreciation for a potentially life-saving hint like that. I mean, it makes me feel like an IDIOT that I can stare at the tire, repeatedly kick it and...

 

Tyrades! Craving some fatherhood advice?

Wow! Will this really be my 19th Father’s Day as a father? My biggest regret is that I’ve had to learn so much the hard way. To make life easier for other fathers and prospective fathers, I’m sharing reader-submitted pearls of wisdom: Resign...

 

Tyrades! Are you wild about bookazines?

Did you get your copy of “Queen Elizabeth II: Reign in Pictures” in time for Her Majesty’s Platinum Jubilee ceremonies? As a bookazine fanatic, I certainly did. Beg pardon? What’s a bookazine, you ask? (I promise I am merely making educated g...

 

Tyrades! Do you have a personal catch phrase?

Hollywood makes iconic catch phrases seem easy. Whether it’s McGarrett’s “Book ‘em, Danno” or Vizzini’s “Inconceivable!” in “The Princess Bride,” we take them for granted. But there is a dismaying amount of trial and error behind...

 
 By Danny Tyree    News    May 26, 2022

Tyrades! Is this what Memorial Day means to you?

So I can spend more time with my family, I am turning this week’s column over to a bright fourth-grade student from an unnamed American small town. Hi. My name is Liam. My history teacher, Mr. Burkhalter, assigned us to write a 500-word essay about...

 

Tyrades! Do you like what you're hearing on TV?

“I can’t HEEAARR you!” – Sgt. Vincent Carter on “Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.” You may recall that -- in October of 2019-- I wrote a column denouncing the proliferation of confusing, dimly lit scenes in movies and TV shows. Now it’s time to unl...

 

Tyrades! Care for some stolen random thoughts?

Honest, I’m going to write a book chockful of random thoughts someday (my more serious book about religion is already available on Amazon), but deadline pressures keep forcing me to cannibalize my ideas for this column instead. For instance, do...

 

Tyrades! Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be brainless

Millions of young women dream of being honored on Mother’s Day. Millions of others know in their hearts that they don’t want to have children, or at least not on someone else’s timetable. Many in both groups run the risk of someday facing an un...

 

Tyrades! Do you hate parking lots?

The concept of “parking” loses most of its mystique as you get past the giddy days of a freshly minted driver’s license and shoulder the responsibilities of adulthood. Where “parking” once meant steamy windows at Inspiration Point, it...

 

Tyrades! Early retirement: threat or menace?

“But I’ll keep workin’/As long as my two hands are fit to use…” – Merle Haggard I haven’t run away and joined the circus, but I am nearing the age when a financial safety net admittedly has the allure of the Sirens of Greek mythology....

 

Tyrades! Is there a Mary Magdalene in your life?

If you could be the proverbial “fly on the wall,” what Biblical event would you most like to witness? I realize some of you don’t accept the Bible in the first place. But if you do believe it, what scene would you love to see unfold before...

 

Tyrades! Have you slapped anybody lately?

After the Academy Awards incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock, I started wondering how many of my gentle readers have resorted to physical violence in their adult life. In 1983 a co-worker sucker-punched me at the end of second shift and in...

 
 By Danny Tyree    News    March 31, 2022

Tyrades! Are you terrible at remembering names? by Danny Tyree

If you have a habit of forgetting names as soon as you’re introduced, join the club. In all fairness, I have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to appointments, debts and trivia; it’s just that names tend to chew their leg off in order to...

 

Tyrades! Will this be your best spring ever?

A tiny portion of my “day job” at a farm-and-home cooperative involves writing radio commercials and on-hold phone messages. More often than I like to admit, I get stuck for a closing zinger and settle for trite sentiments, such as “Let our fri...

 

Tyrades! What would you love to tell your younger self?

A handful of longtime readers may remember when I announced that “baby boy Tyree” was on his way. Time flies. My only child Gideon recently celebrated his 18th birthday. Ah, 18: an unrefrigerated casserole of freedoms, responsibilities, hopes,...

 

Tyrades! Don't you just love laundry day?

I despise airing my dirty laundry in public, but I’ll make an exception for kvetching about my clean laundry. I have primary responsibility for my family’s laundry. Fair enough. I realize I should be grateful that I am spared the drudgery of the...

 

Tyrades! Was your grandfather a character?

Valentine’s Day and other time-sensitive topics delayed my writing about this, but a few weeks ago marked the 50th anniversary of the death of my grandfather, Carl Spencer Tyree. I’m juggling a lot of plates, but very few days go by that I don...

 

Tyrades! Do you want your receipt?

Yes, receipts do seem to breed like rabbits in my poor overstuffed-with-credit-cards-and-gift-cards-and-loyalty-cards-and-hastily-scribbled-notes wallet. But that’s my personal problem to sort through at home in my quieter moments. That’s why...

 

Tyrades! Planning a romantic getaway for Valentine's Day?

I dare you to google news about Valentine’s Day. Faster than you can say “Romeo and Juliet,” you’ll be inundated with results for “romantic getaways.” Whether the story is touting a single night on the town or an extended trip, you’ll...

 

Tyrades! Are you singing the lunchtime errand blues?

Many of us in the workforce find ourselves performing the condensed “sprint” version of the marathon endured by hapless soccer moms. Yes, now that my wife is working full-time and meeting her at home for lunch is not an option, I am spending a...

 

Tyrades! Are you putting off your annual physical exam?

I’m not seeking sympathy, but I’m writing this on the eve of my annual physical exam. Don’t infer that I’m bragging about a commendable lifelong habit. By “annual,” I mean “I’ve (almost) done it two years in a row.” And by...

 

Tyrades! Is A Platonic Life Partnership Right for You?

Fact: families take many forms. Grandparents rear grandchildren. Never-married siblings share the ancestral homeplace until death. High school sweethearts get married in a fever but gradually drift apart. BFFs move in together for emotional/financial...

 

Tyrades! How'd you like one across the lip?

A YouTube video magically transported me back to what I was watching on Thursday, January 13, 1972. The clip from NBC’s red-hot “Flip Wilson Show” features Flip as a standup comedian being heckled unmercifully by guest Redd Foxx. At the end of...

 

Tyrades! Does Baby New Year give you the creeps?

Perhaps one reason I never get invited to New Year’s Eve parties is that I tend to overanalyze things. Take Baby New Year (a.k.a. “Bundle of White Male Joy”), for instance. Society’s reliance on this iconic tyke in editorial cartoons,...

 

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