Do you suffer from the "stillgottas"?

Despite my best preventive measures, I have spent decades enduring “the stillgottas.”

If you are unfamiliar with the medical terminology, it’s the why-can’t-it-be-terminal-and-give-me-the-sweet-release-of-death condition characterized by perpetually gasping, “I’ve still gotta grab item A and finish project B and clean item C and research the efficacy of an Epi-Pen after absent-mindedly ingesting mystery food D and…”

Some guys have a fabulous career releasing their inner drag queen, but all I can muster is being a third-rate Soccer Mom.

The stillgottas can erupt at any time of day, but for me t...