Lewis County Herald - Serving Hohenwald, Lewis County Tennessee Since 1898

Articles written by Danny Tyree

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Tyrades! Are You Bathing Too Frequently?

When I worked at my late uncle’s junkyard during junior high school, one of the regular customers (a crusty coot who resembled a cantankerous Roy Rogers sidekick wannabe) assured us that he luxuriated in a steaming bathtub each and every night. We...

 

Tyrades! Do You Remember the Rural Purge of '71?

In mid-1971, I experienced a most distressing visit to the dentist. A TV fan magazine in the waiting room divulged life-changing news. Irene Ryan (who portrayed Granny on “The Beverly Hillbillies”) told an interviewer she was madder than a wet...

 

Tyrades! What Do You Remember About 9/11 - And Before?

Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, I was a newly minted warehouse supervisor for a farmers cooperative. I can remember almost exactly where a customer’s truck was parked when I overheard him telling one of my co-workers something or...

 

Tyrades! Have you thanked a school bus driver lately?

According to the Wall Street Journal, the fledgling online gambling industry is poised to explode in popularity. This season, the NFL for the first time is permitting sports-gambling companies to advertise during games. I don’t envy the precarious...

 

Tyrades! Have you thanked a school bus driver lately?

According to CNN, pandemic fears and enhanced unemployment benefits have left the nation facing a serious shortage of qualified school bus drivers. The problem is acute -- despite districts implementing recruitment campaigns, offering sign-up...

 

Tyrades! Did someone say, "tax holiday"?

The Tyree family recently took advantage of our state’s eagerly anticipated annual sales tax holiday on school supplies, clothing and electronics. Eagerly anticipated as in my wife taking the Charlton Heston role of promoting delayed gratification...

 

Tyrades! Do morning people deserve to live?

A 1986 Pantene commercial carried the tagline “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful.” Similarly, I must ask my readers, “Don’t hate me because I’ve heard a rooster crow.” I tend to get up at the crack of dawn, even though I eventually...

 

Tyrades! Family portraits: do you love them or dread them?

My family took the easy way out -- again. We had our annual chance at a professional portrait and decided to let (insist) son Gideon pose solo for the umpteenth time. Oh, we’ve had three-person portraits before and every once in a great while, I...

 

Tyrades! Have you been avoiding the dentist?

Life is returning to normal; but where dental health is concerned, normal may not be good enough. According to a report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, even BEFORE the pandemic, one-third of American adults under 65...

 

Tyrades! Are you craving a buffet rebirth?

“Buffets Are Back – With New Policies and Gloves,” blared the headline on page 1 of the June 29 Wall Street Journal. That was welcome news for my pandemic-weary family. I was afraid such wide-open dining would go the way of the dinosaur....

 

Tyrades! Is your refrigerator running?

If some retro prankster had asked me a week ago, “Is your refrigerator running?,” my reply would have been, “It’s complicated.” (Actually, I would have reported the scamp to the authorities. In these enlightened times, “Is your...

 

Tyrades!

Prospects of a long, hot summer bring pet peeves to the surface. Surely someone besides me encounters deceptive packages of frozen microwaveable meat. “Tear here,” they cajole. So, you tear on the dotted line, only to discover that it’s an...

 

Tyrades!

My new supervisor anticipates being a first-time father in a few months. I hope he doesn’t become one of THOSE fathers. Most fathers take a laidback, minimalist approach; but a few are overly competitive about being cool, outshining mom or presenti...

 

Tyrades! So, Did I Mention My 30th Wedding Anniversary?

“I could search the whole world over/Until my life is through/But I know I’ll never find another you.” -as performed by The Seekers. Five years ago, in conjunction with my 25th wedding anniversary, I was halfway finished writing a 40,000-word...

 

Tyrades! Would the Class of 2021 Like Some Unsolicited Advice?

By the time most of you read this, my son Gideon will have marched across the gymnasium floor and received his high school diploma. I have brainstormed some sage advice for Gideon’s next phase and hope that his fellow grads nationwide can benefit....

 

Tyrades! Are You Still Procrastinating About Income Tax?

Misery loves company, but it’s cold comfort that many of you – like me -- still haven’t filed your 2020 income tax returns. (And I’m aware others of you had already pre-spent your refund SIX MONTHS AGO, but come on, dude. When you announce,...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    May 6, 2021

Tyrades! How About Celebrating History's Unsung Mothers?

Since you asked, my niece Claire is expecting her first baby in August. Her sister Emma is expecting her second child in October. I have faith that both young ladies will someday earn a spot in a Hall of Fame for Mothers. Alas, history is littered...

 

Tyrades! Can We Possibly Laugh About Seasonal Allergies?

Tree HUGGERS, are you contemplating a Zoom meeting with Mr. Elm instead? Yes, this is dedicated to the millions of you who share my susceptibility to seasonal allergies. (SEASONAL allergies? Yes, “When is allergy season?” is a popular Google...

 

Tyrades! Can We Please Retire the Word "Debunked"?

Did I ever tell you about my late Uncle Vernon and the time his slanderous lies about a respected business got unceremoniously debunked? In the mid-70s Uncle Vernon hired a Nashville company to apply vinyl siding to his home. When he was completely...

 

Tyrades! May I Sing the Housing Subdivision Blues?

My wife and I would never have met, except that her family fled a densely populated state when she was 11. Given her satisfaction with the simple life (deer in the yard, the neighbors’ ponds and livestock across the road), I dreaded sharing...

 

Tyrades! Do You Find Saint Patrick's Day Troubling?

“My father and mother were Irish, and I am Irish, too.” As Saint Patrick’s Day approaches, I keep remembering that song from our third-grade music book, which strove to examine music from an international perspective (WITHOUT a “Monty Python...

 

Tyrades! Product Recall Notices: Friend or Foe?

The relentless airbag recall notices concerning my mother’s old truck have progressed from a mailbox-clogging nuisance to a grim reminder that our unresponsiveness has felled more trees than Paul Bunyan in his prime. Okay, I realize more consumers...

 

Tyrades! What Will Presidents' Day Be Like In 50 Years?

Presidents’ Day 2021 may still be fresh on your mind, but be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor president or the first bathtub in the White House, just think...

 

Tyrades! Valentine Dilemma: "Baby," You're Not the Greatest!

Although the bar has been set remarkably low during some epochs (“Dearest, you’ve survived to produce seven more viable male heirs than my second wife”), society has always expected couples to use terms of endearment to grease the wheels of...

 

Tyrades! Are You and Your Middle Name on Speaking Terms?

There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this nation took the bold bipartisan move of giving...

 

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