Lewis County Herald - Serving Hohenwald, Lewis County Tennessee Since 1898

Articles written by Danny Tyree

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Tyrades!

My new supervisor anticipates being a first-time father in a few months. I hope he doesn’t become one of THOSE fathers. Most fathers take a laidback, minimalist approach; but a few are overly competitive about being cool, outshining mom or presenti...

 

Tyrades! So, Did I Mention My 30th Wedding Anniversary?

“I could search the whole world over/Until my life is through/But I know I’ll never find another you.” -as performed by The Seekers. Five years ago, in conjunction with my 25th wedding anniversary, I was halfway finished writing a 40,000-word...

 

Tyrades! Would the Class of 2021 Like Some Unsolicited Advice?

By the time most of you read this, my son Gideon will have marched across the gymnasium floor and received his high school diploma. I have brainstormed some sage advice for Gideon’s next phase and hope that his fellow grads nationwide can benefit....

 

Tyrades! Are You Still Procrastinating About Income Tax?

Misery loves company, but it’s cold comfort that many of you – like me -- still haven’t filed your 2020 income tax returns. (And I’m aware others of you had already pre-spent your refund SIX MONTHS AGO, but come on, dude. When you announce,...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    May 6, 2021

Tyrades! How About Celebrating History's Unsung Mothers?

Since you asked, my niece Claire is expecting her first baby in August. Her sister Emma is expecting her second child in October. I have faith that both young ladies will someday earn a spot in a Hall of Fame for Mothers. Alas, history is littered...

 

Tyrades! Can We Possibly Laugh About Seasonal Allergies?

Tree HUGGERS, are you contemplating a Zoom meeting with Mr. Elm instead? Yes, this is dedicated to the millions of you who share my susceptibility to seasonal allergies. (SEASONAL allergies? Yes, “When is allergy season?” is a popular Google...

 

Tyrades! Can We Please Retire the Word "Debunked"?

Did I ever tell you about my late Uncle Vernon and the time his slanderous lies about a respected business got unceremoniously debunked? In the mid-70s Uncle Vernon hired a Nashville company to apply vinyl siding to his home. When he was completely...

 

Tyrades! May I Sing the Housing Subdivision Blues?

My wife and I would never have met, except that her family fled a densely populated state when she was 11. Given her satisfaction with the simple life (deer in the yard, the neighbors’ ponds and livestock across the road), I dreaded sharing...

 

Tyrades! Do You Find Saint Patrick's Day Troubling?

“My father and mother were Irish, and I am Irish, too.” As Saint Patrick’s Day approaches, I keep remembering that song from our third-grade music book, which strove to examine music from an international perspective (WITHOUT a “Monty Python...

 

Tyrades! Product Recall Notices: Friend or Foe?

The relentless airbag recall notices concerning my mother’s old truck have progressed from a mailbox-clogging nuisance to a grim reminder that our unresponsiveness has felled more trees than Paul Bunyan in his prime. Okay, I realize more consumers...

 

Tyrades! What Will Presidents' Day Be Like In 50 Years?

Presidents’ Day 2021 may still be fresh on your mind, but be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor president or the first bathtub in the White House, just think...

 

Tyrades! Valentine Dilemma: "Baby," You're Not the Greatest!

Although the bar has been set remarkably low during some epochs (“Dearest, you’ve survived to produce seven more viable male heirs than my second wife”), society has always expected couples to use terms of endearment to grease the wheels of...

 

Tyrades! Are You and Your Middle Name on Speaking Terms?

There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this nation took the bold bipartisan move of giving...

 

Tyrades! Ever Sing the College Brochure Blues?

It has been a bittersweet experience seeing the mailbox flooded with college recruiting brochures addressed to my son Gideon. Bittersweet because, speaking as a science fiction fan, each “road not taken” represents an alternate timeline...

 

Tyrades! Have You Ever Met A Stranger?

Reminiscing with one of my mother’s photo albums, I encountered a snapshot of a long-deceased neighbor (a dear, sweet man) who is still summed up by the phrase “He never met a stranger.” I’m sure all of you know someone like that (or ARE...

 

Tyrades! Don't Be A Meathead! Celebrate Archie Bunker's 50th Anniversary!

I spent Monday nights in the fall of 1975 breathlessly watching my favorite TV show. And I do mean breathlessly. That’s because I had to rush home from my afterschool job at a nearby convenience market and hope that I didn’t miss much more than...

 

Tyrades! Have You Mailed Your Veterans Day Cards Yet?

Veterans Day parades? Veterans Day school essays? Veterans Day ceremonies on the courthouse lawn? Star-spangled Veterans Day memes on social media? Platitude-enhanced newspaper editorials? Sure, I’m familiar with all those expressions of...

 

Tyrades! Do You Have Unanswered Questions About Halloween?

I was trying to clear the cobwebs from my mind, and all I could find was random thoughts about Halloween (a.k.a. Hallowe’en, a.k.a. Allhalloween, a.k.a. All Hallow’s Eve, a.k.a. All Saints’ Eve, a.k.a. the Holiday That Is Bankrupting the...

 

Tyrades! What Shall We Say About 50 Years of Home Ownership?

This is a year of double milestones: my mother’s house turns 75 and (as of October 30) she will have been living there for 50 years. She grew up as part of an itinerant sharecropping family during the Great Depression, so I’m glad she has...

 

Tyrades!

My electronic key fob is putting more mileage on ME than on the car. For the past several months, I have tried to build up the nerve to do a thorough search of the contents of my trunk. I am hoping against hope that an overly sensitive trunk-release...

 

Tyrades! Are College Entrance Exams A Dying Breed?

My son Gideon has now finished both his ACT and SAT college entrance exams (scoring at an impressive percentile somewhere between “It’s …it’s…go ask my wife” and “Never you MIND what his father’s score was”), but I wonder if the...

 

Tyrades! Come on, get Happy: The Partridge Family at 50

Realizing that September 25 marks the 50th anniversary of the premiere of “The Partridge Family,” I am reminded that time moves more swiftly than a 45 RPM turntable. It seems like only yesterday that I was a fifth-grader and my mother was...

 

Tyrades! Who Can Turn the World on With Her Anniversary?

What were you doing the night of Saturday, March 19, 1977? Like 21.2 million other Americans, I was watching the final episode of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” Watching it and making a nerdy audio recording of it for posterity. Sure, I didn’t...

 

Tyrades! Inspirational Quotations: Are You for Them or Against Them?

One of the highlights of my 93-year-old mother’s week is when she receives an inspirational essay from a church lady (hi, Regina!) who maintains a mailing list for Special People. Yes, the world is flooded with anxieties, conflicts and doubts....

 

Tyrades! Will You Be Laboring on Labor Day?

For most of us, Labor Day will be an occasion for relaxation and contemplation. (And MORAL DILEMMAS, because our contemplation will be complicated by the fact that the little cartoon angel on our right shoulder and the little cartoon devil on our lef...

 

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