Lewis County Herald - Serving Hohenwald, Lewis County Tennessee Since 1898

Articles written by Danny Tyree

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 By Danny Tyree    News    August 4, 2022 

Tyrades! Is the gardening craze growing on you?

According to the National Gardening Association, the number of households growing their own vegetables, fruit and other foods has tripled since 2008. (Coincidentally, the number of households stocking up on earplugs to keep from hearing neighbors...

 

Tyrades! Does your hometown stink?

According to the Washington Examiner, 2022 has handed New York City an alarming spike in citizen complaints about outdoor odors (“I hope you appreciate me doing my civic duty. It’s not easy to use a cellphone to make a 311 call and publicly urina...

 

Tyrades! Does your body hate you?

Trust me when I declare that I am not competing for sympathy against folks suffering from cancer, blocked arteries, diabetes or other serious ailments. I do nonetheless think that my body is out to get me. And not just with the chronic aches, pains...

 

Tyrades! Concerts: yea or nay?

Believe it or not, my wife and I haven’t attended a concert in nearly 25 years. (Elton John’s January 1998 appearance at Nashville Arena was our last outing.) I realize such an admission strikes a discordant note with most “normal” people....

 

Tyrades! What happened at Roswell 75 years ago?

The front page of the July 8, 1947 “Roswell (New Mexico) Daily Record” seized the American imagination with the headline “RAAF (Roswell Army Air Field) Captures Flying Saucer.” That announcement added fuel to the saucer craze of summer 1947...

 

Tyrades! Do Gallup Poll respondents have a prayer?

You’ve probably seen the screaming headlines about a Gallup survey revealing that Americans’ belief in God has hit an all-time low. I’m not here to quibble with the atheists, agnostics and alternate-spirituality practitioners who answered the...

 

Tyrades! Should "eyes up here" be enforced?

“Did you know that your rear passenger tire is a little underinflated?” I harbor a grudging appreciation for a potentially life-saving hint like that. I mean, it makes me feel like an IDIOT that I can stare at the tire, repeatedly kick it and...

 

Tyrades! Craving some fatherhood advice?

Wow! Will this really be my 19th Father’s Day as a father? My biggest regret is that I’ve had to learn so much the hard way. To make life easier for other fathers and prospective fathers, I’m sharing reader-submitted pearls of wisdom: Resign...

 

Tyrades! Are you wild about bookazines?

Did you get your copy of “Queen Elizabeth II: Reign in Pictures” in time for Her Majesty’s Platinum Jubilee ceremonies? As a bookazine fanatic, I certainly did. Beg pardon? What’s a bookazine, you ask? (I promise I am merely making educated g...

 

Tyrades! Do you have a personal catch phrase?

Hollywood makes iconic catch phrases seem easy. Whether it’s McGarrett’s “Book ‘em, Danno” or Vizzini’s “Inconceivable!” in “The Princess Bride,” we take them for granted. But there is a dismaying amount of trial and error behind...

 
 By Danny Tyree    News    May 26, 2022

Tyrades! Is this what Memorial Day means to you?

So I can spend more time with my family, I am turning this week’s column over to a bright fourth-grade student from an unnamed American small town. Hi. My name is Liam. My history teacher, Mr. Burkhalter, assigned us to write a 500-word essay about...

 

Tyrades! Do you like what you're hearing on TV?

“I can’t HEEAARR you!” – Sgt. Vincent Carter on “Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.” You may recall that -- in October of 2019-- I wrote a column denouncing the proliferation of confusing, dimly lit scenes in movies and TV shows. Now it’s time to unl...

 

Tyrades! Care for some stolen random thoughts?

Honest, I’m going to write a book chockful of random thoughts someday (my more serious book about religion is already available on Amazon), but deadline pressures keep forcing me to cannibalize my ideas for this column instead. For instance, do...

 

Tyrades! Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be brainless

Millions of young women dream of being honored on Mother’s Day. Millions of others know in their hearts that they don’t want to have children, or at least not on someone else’s timetable. Many in both groups run the risk of someday facing an un...

 

Tyrades! Do you hate parking lots?

The concept of “parking” loses most of its mystique as you get past the giddy days of a freshly minted driver’s license and shoulder the responsibilities of adulthood. Where “parking” once meant steamy windows at Inspiration Point, it...

 

Tyrades! Early retirement: threat or menace?

“But I’ll keep workin’/As long as my two hands are fit to use…” – Merle Haggard I haven’t run away and joined the circus, but I am nearing the age when a financial safety net admittedly has the allure of the Sirens of Greek mythology....

 

Tyrades! Is there a Mary Magdalene in your life?

If you could be the proverbial “fly on the wall,” what Biblical event would you most like to witness? I realize some of you don’t accept the Bible in the first place. But if you do believe it, what scene would you love to see unfold before...

 

Tyrades! Have you slapped anybody lately?

After the Academy Awards incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock, I started wondering how many of my gentle readers have resorted to physical violence in their adult life. In 1983 a co-worker sucker-punched me at the end of second shift and in...

 
 By Danny Tyree    News    March 31, 2022

Tyrades! Are you terrible at remembering names? by Danny Tyree

If you have a habit of forgetting names as soon as you’re introduced, join the club. In all fairness, I have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to appointments, debts and trivia; it’s just that names tend to chew their leg off in order to...

 

Tyrades! Will this be your best spring ever?

A tiny portion of my “day job” at a farm-and-home cooperative involves writing radio commercials and on-hold phone messages. More often than I like to admit, I get stuck for a closing zinger and settle for trite sentiments, such as “Let our fri...

 

Tyrades! What would you love to tell your younger self?

A handful of longtime readers may remember when I announced that “baby boy Tyree” was on his way. Time flies. My only child Gideon recently celebrated his 18th birthday. Ah, 18: an unrefrigerated casserole of freedoms, responsibilities, hopes,...

 

Tyrades! Don't you just love laundry day?

I despise airing my dirty laundry in public, but I’ll make an exception for kvetching about my clean laundry. I have primary responsibility for my family’s laundry. Fair enough. I realize I should be grateful that I am spared the drudgery of the...

 

Tyrades! Was your grandfather a character?

Valentine’s Day and other time-sensitive topics delayed my writing about this, but a few weeks ago marked the 50th anniversary of the death of my grandfather, Carl Spencer Tyree. I’m juggling a lot of plates, but very few days go by that I don...

 

Tyrades! Do you want your receipt?

Yes, receipts do seem to breed like rabbits in my poor overstuffed-with-credit-cards-and-gift-cards-and-loyalty-cards-and-hastily-scribbled-notes wallet. But that’s my personal problem to sort through at home in my quieter moments. That’s why...

 

Tyrades! Won't you unleash your inner dog walker?

From time to time, I attempt to make this column more interactive -- soliciting reader comments on burning questions such as “Which songs make you cry?,” “What was your favorite summer vacation?,” “Does this font make me look fat?,” etc....

 

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